I've talked before about having BPD and being Bi-Polar. So that's old news. What I haven't talked about are the medications. There are no magic pills to make everything better. The best you can hope for is a combination that will help keep your moods stable and not let the depression or manic phases take over ( Read more... )

People (including myself) take time for granted. We're always looking to the next big thing.

We are kids and can't wait go be a teenager.

When we're teenagers we can't wait to drive. Then we can't wait to move out and be grown ups with cars and jobs and our own money and NO RULES! (what a disappointment that is ( Read more... )

I was a tall, skinny, socially awkward kid ( Read more... )

One of the traits of someone with BPD is that we take on the traits of the people around us. We have no idea who we are and generally just feel empty. So liking or disliking whatever the people around us likes or dislikes makes us feel more grounded. But we end up losing ourselves in the process. We still don't know who we are. And if and when that ( Read more... )

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"Here I will spend my leisure, secure from the worries of business and the excitement of city life. I will fish and loaf and explore the caves of these hills, with no fear of intrusion."
-- Robert McClure Snyder about the property he bought to build the Ha Ha Tonka Castle


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When I was a kid I joined a summer youth employment program. Basically they put pre-teens and teens into summer jobs. I was placed at Children's Place. It was a daycare program for kids who had been neglected and abused. Some of them were in foster care, and some had been returned to their parents with the order that they be at the school every day ( Read more... )

The alarm is going off and I stumble out of bed. I had the strangest dream. I was talking to a fairy or genie and one of my wishes was to look different. I hate my big nose and frizzy hair and skinny lips. I want to be perfect and beautiful I told her. HA! Like that will ever happen without a million dollars worth of plastic surgery. Funny though ( Read more... )

Most little girls put themselves into fairy tales and hope that one day they'll find their prince. I put myself into music. I still do. When I couldn't speak, music could do it for me. When I was nine or so I discovered this song on a record that my parents had and I fell in love with the story it told and with Running Bear and Little White Dove. ( Read more... )

I'm guilty. I'll admit it. I'm as guilty as can be. I planned it all. Every step, every minute, every second ( Read more... )